Thursday, December 31, 2009

This was not my birth plan.

Almost a year ago, I think most of us fell in love with a little girl named Harper, I saw a button on someone's blog, checked it out and was hooked, I checked her blog everyday for updates and prayed and prayed for Harper. I was so touched by Kelly though that time (still am), her strength, grace and love for the Lord is an inspiration. After Abby was born I went back to read of her time in the NICU with Harper, there were many times, when I was searching at 2 am for stories of other babies and their journeys, I wanted to know if they felt the way I was feeling and how their stories began or ended. Well, we all know how Harper's began and are privilege to see her as she grows up. And now that time as passed and Abby is doing so much better, I wish that I had kept better accounts of our days whether it was in a journal or though my blog of that time in our lives. But to be honest, I couldn't even get my thoughts together enough to write them down. But wanted to share in a nut shell (if that's possible) what happened to me. Hubby and I were packed ready to go to Mississippi for the Alabama/Ole Miss game, we were so excited, Wednesday (the day before we were to leave) I went for a routine checkup (26 weeks) and was scheduled to do the glucose testing, got there had my blood pressure checked and it was high (140/94), they checked it again and got the same. Sent me to the triage area in L&D, did labs, everything fine but I had a "clot" (this won't be the last time I hear the word clot) in my placenta and needed to see a specialist the next day, being selfish and thinking this was all "crazy", I was more upset about missing our trip, so I decided after we go to the doctor's appt., if everything is fine we are going to Mississippi. I called got new flights, we loaded our bags in the car, we were still going to make it. Nope. Went to back to OB office on Friday, labs were "creeping" up, sent me to L&D again, this time for a steriod shot to help mature Abby's lungs, if we were to this a joke. Went to hospital, labs were even higher. Got the shot, went home. I remember getting in the car and just breaking down, this was really happening, this was real. Went back the next day to get the second shot and was feeling hot, I was bright red and didn't feel good, the first time since all this happened and asked them to check me out, I'm so glad, I was having a reaction to the steriod which was a blessing because they decided to keep me over night to watch me and do more labs. Two hours later, the OB specialist came in and told me that I was here til the baby was born, which could be 24 hours or 6 weeks. After he left we were waiting for my 24 hour urine results to come back and when they did, they were off the chart, an L&D nurse with 24 years experience said she had never seen a level that high, I was so scared, scared for me, scared for Abby. They sent the NICU doctor in to speck with me of what to expect with a 27 "weeker". The next morning at 4am I started having contractions, but not knowing that's what it was, I waited an hour to call the nurse, she put me on the monitor, had me drink lots of water and wait for the doctor, who was already on her way to do rounds. She walked in the room and said, I'm not too worried about it, you made it though the night, let's make it though the day, the door didn't even shut and I started bleeding VERY heavy (ruined 2 nurses shoes), my placenta had abrupted, they did an emergency c-section. Abby Virginia was born on 10/ 15/09 at 9:32 am at 27 weeks, weighing 1 lb and 13oz, 13 inches long. The recovery was great, I took motrin a time or two but was focused on Abby. About a week after going home I was having flank/back pain, waited til it was so bad, it was getting hard to breath, went to ER and ct scan results showed that I had not one but two clots in my lungs. I had never been so scared in my life...I remember asking the doctor if I was going to die. My poor husband had a wife in the ICU upstairs and a baby in the ICU downstairs. We made it though it, with support of friends and family, doctors and nurses that were amazing and trusting in the Lord. I still can't believe all this happened, it's just crazy to me. I went for a check up last week and the doctor that delivered Abby came in to say hello and was telling me about all the things that I kept saying to her and it was so funny to hear, she said I kept telling her that this was NOT on my birth plan...he...he. After I delivered I was on high dose of Magnesium and for those that have ever experienced it, it makes you or at least me HOT. She said I kept saying, "I'm a HOT MESS"! Abby's story still to come...

"If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last 3 chapters out" unk

Happy New Year

Hope everyone has a great New Year's Eve

I just put my new pj's on, husband got a bottle of wine and we're going to hang out with the best thing that happened to us in 2009.

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." ~Oprah Winfrey

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Welcome home Abby

Last Monday I spend all day running around to get medications for Abby that you can't get at the CVS or Walgreens around the corner, met the medical supply nurse at the house to get everything we needed for Abby to come home, which included oxygen, a nedulizer and a monitor. Got all the meds, went over them with her nurse and left the NICU at 11:45 pm and just cried and prayed that this was the last time that I was leaving without her. And the next day at 4 pm, everything that we have been though seemed so far away as we got to take our little girl home.
There are so many levels of emotion that I have felt though this journey, some days I just couldn't get words out though the tears, other days I laughed about it and some days I was scared of what our future held. There were times when I asked myself "why" but then I thought "why not", we are never really sure why things happen the way they do but this is our journey, this is her story. In the beginning hearing stories of other (micro) preemies brought me comfort and I hope that we can bring comfort to others though our experiences.

I think it was Thursday afternoon that Oprah was on the TV and I wasn't really watching but Tim Mcgraw was on and I really like him and Faith, so I was listening to him sing and I heard Oprah ask him what was the best Christmas present he ever got and his response was that his second little girl was born 2 months early and came home from the hospital a few days before Christmas and he said it didn't get much better than that and I'm here to tell you IT DOESN'T!!!!

Hope you all had a VERY Merry Christmas, I got a few really nice things but nothing is better than having Abby home.

This picture was taken in the NICU before we knew if she would be home for Christmas or not and a girlfriend talked me into doing a Christmas card either way, so this was the picture that we used. She was off the oxygen here but had to go home with oxygen (another post).

And this is Christmas Eve, when our family came to met Abby for the first time, no one was able to come into the NICU other than Brad and I and my mom, so it was nice to share her with our family but we have to be very germs, so contact was limited.

Her first Christmas, everyone brought her a first Christmas ornament for her tree, notice there is still nothing on the walls, I do have almost everything and that's on my list to get done very soon and I will share with you.

"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it has finally come together. What you have always wished for, has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... how did I get though all that."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Daddy's girl...

On Monday we walked in to this blooming little girl...

Her daddy walked right over to her, sound asleep and all. Picked her up and loved on her. Other parents, nurses and even the doctor came over to see what all the fuss was about. We are so in LOVE. I think hubby liked the bow more than I did. He loves showing her off.
I've been told that when you see your husband with your child, you gain a whole new love for them. I've found this more true than I could even imagine. He can't keep his hands off of her and talks on and on about the things we are going to do when she comes home and is able. I can't wait for the day when we can lay a blanket on the living room floor and get down on the floor and play with her and make her smile.
Things are going very well, she is getting bigger and bigger, starting to take the bottle and is in an "open crib". So now we are working on getting the oxygen off, she is getting a course of steriods to help develop her lungs, so keep us in your prayers.

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle". ~Albert Einstein